The Fish Poison Con by William S Burroughs
"So I walk in on this Pleasantville croaker and tell him I have contracted this Venusian virus and subject to dissolve myself in poison juices and assimilate the passers-by unless I get my medicine and get it regular – So I walk in on this old party smelling like a compost heap and steaming demurely and he snaps at me, "What’s your trouble?”
"The Venusian Gook Rot, doctor."
"Now see here young man my time is valuable."
"Doctor, this is a medical emergency."
Old shit but good – I walked out on the nod –
Audio cribbed from Ubuweb. Text clipped from the Google Books preview of Nova Express